Women in Coaching

The Real Women of Coaching: Season 2 (Episode 18) Katie Card

Published May 20, 2013 | By Dr. Giddings

This is the final episode featuring water polo coach, Katie Card.

</iframe</p> <p>Please take a moment to view this episode and <strong>Tweet It, Post It, or Pin It</strong> to spread the word about our video series! We are increasing the numbers of viewers we have for this series every day and we need your help to grow that base even more!</p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/&text=The Real Women of Coaching: Season 2 (Episode 18) Katie Card&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/&t=The Real Women of Coaching: Season 2 (Episode 18) Katie Card">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/&title=The Real Women of Coaching: Season 2 (Episode 18) Katie Card&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F05%2F20%2Fthe-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=The+Real+Women+of+Coaching%3A+Season+2+%28Episode+18%29+Katie+Card" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/20/the-real-women-of-coaching-season-2-episode-18-katie-card/#respond" title="Comment on The Real Women of Coaching: Season 2 (Episode 18) Katie Card">Leave a comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3776 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-jane-allen tag-lessons-learned tag-loss tag-win" id="post-3776"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/" rel="bookmark" title="Did we win?">Did we win?</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="12:05 am">May 11, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/janeallen/" title="View all posts by janeallen">janeallen</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><p><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/confusion.bmp"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-3781" title="confusion" src="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/confusion.bmp" alt="" /></a>Just last week I experienced something that I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced. My tennis team was playing a match, and, despite already winning the match in singles, after our doubles play we all seemed to feel as if we had lost the match. (We ended up winning the match 6-3.) The energy of the team was minimal; there were few smiles to go around, and the entire mood of our postgame chat was similar to one after a loss. Even when I called my parents to tell them about our game, my mom’s first reaction was along the lines of “oh no, you lost.”</p> <p> </p> <p> <a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/#more-3776" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">→</span></a></p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/&text=Did we win?&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/&t=Did we win?">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/&title=Did we win?&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F05%2F11%2Fdid-we-win%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=Did+we+win%3F" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/05/11/did-we-win/#respond" title="Comment on Did we win?">Leave a comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3751 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-jane-allen tag-confidence tag-insecurity" id="post-3751"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/" rel="bookmark" title="Why do we lack confidence?">Why do we lack confidence?</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="12:15 am">April 27, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/janeallen/" title="View all posts by janeallen">janeallen</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><div id="attachment_3758" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://dawngrant.com/preparation-and-confidence-bring-peak-golf-performance/ "><img class="size-medium wp-image-3758" title="confidence" src="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/confidence-300x241.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="241" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Click photo for source</p></div> <p>As a female coach and former competitive athlete, I find that I myself have struggled with being confident at various points in time. The sad thing is that I see the same issue with the majority of my student-athletes as well. I also would wager that many of you out there have had deal with this same issue several times in your career as well.</p> <p> </p> <p>Why is it that we frequently second-guess ourselves? How come we don’t have 100% confidence in our skills and abilities? These are just two of the questions I ask both myself and my athletes when insecurities come lurking. It was not until a little while ago when a friend of mine posted a quote on her Facebook page that I really began to understand just why we have these questions and doubts. This was the quote:</p> <p> </p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” - Steve Furtik</em></p> <p> </p> <p>After reading this quote, I had one of those “aha moments.” This reason may be exactly why we sometimes don’t think that we measure up to others. When you really think about it…how can we? After all, we rarely see what happens behind the scenes in terms of observing what other coaches and athletes do to prepare for competition. Instead, we compare ourselves to the final product that is put in front of us. Also, outside of our immediate competition and peers, we don’t always see or hear about how people in bigger schools or professional settings get there. What we also don’t know is that the people in these positions often feel the exact same way.</p> <p> <a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/#more-3751" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">→</span></a></p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/&text=Why do we lack confidence?&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/&t=Why do we lack confidence?">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/&title=Why do we lack confidence?&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F04%2F27%2Fwhy-do-we-lack-confidence%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=Why+do+we+lack+confidence%3F" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/27/why-do-we-lack-confidence/#comments" title="Comment on Why do we lack confidence?">1 Comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3746 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-nicole-lavoi tag-confidence tag-lean-in tag-supports tag-work-life-balance" id="post-3746"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/" rel="bookmark" title="Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early">Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="9:31 am">April 23, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/nicolelavoi/" title="View all posts by NicoleLaVoi">NicoleLaVoi</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><p>In <a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/02/25/supports-for-female-coaches-part-i/">Part I of the ‘supports’ series</a> I discussed that continuing education opportunities are key for professional development and developing confidence. Supports can exist at many levels. There are things that women can do for themselves to support and bolster their careers, and this is the primary focus of Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg’s book <em>Lean In. </em> Colleague and fellow Women in Coaching blogger Ellen Staurowsky <a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/">posted her thoughts</a> on how <strong><em>Lean In</em></strong> applied to women in coaching, which is a great read. Sandberg’s premise it to provide strategies and advice for women on how to minimize or eliminate internal barriers that limit women from gaining power and erode their confidence. <strong>The focus is on what women can control for themselves.</strong></p> <p> </p> <p>An individual level focus is important while also keeping in mind that many of the barriers women face like organizational policy (i.e., children can’t travel with the team) and societal norms about gender and leadership (i.e., what is looks like to be a leader is aligned with characteristics of masculinity) also exist, but are harder to change. Therefore Sandberg invites women to<em> Lean In</em>, think about, and focus on what they can do ot support themselves and their careers.</p> <p> </p> <p>One of Sandberg’s tips is <strong>“don’t leave before you leave”</strong> which came up in a recent conversation but is typical of what I hear from young female coaches. This young woman is kind, bright, hard working, motivated and currently a Director of Operations for a D-I basketball team. She is exactly they type of female we need and want to keep in coaching or sport administration. I asked her what her next career move would be as it is soon time for her to move up/on. She said she wasn’t sure but that she <strong>“didn’t want to live the lifestyle of a head coach”</strong> and that it was <strong>“too time consuming”</strong> and it would <strong>“prevent her from someday having a family.”</strong></p> <p> </p> <p>I had just finished <em>Lean In</em>, and thought: <strong>she is leaving before she leaves!</strong> I asked her to think about how she would manage being a head coach differently in a way that might work for her and her vision of a family, rather than reproduce what she was seeing from the current head coach. I asked her how would she know is she could balance work-life if she didn’t try it first!? Following, she stated she <strong>“didn’t have the right personality”</strong> to be a good head coach. I asked her what that meant to her. She paused and didn’t really have an answer, but thought a head coach should be loud, extroverted and commanding. I asked her is these qualities were the kind of personality she liked in a coach as a former player. She said NO. I then asked her what kind of personalities traits and qualities it takes to be a good head coach. She listed being knowledgeable, caring about athletes, good communication, managing staff, and have a solid philosophy among other things. I asked her then if she had those qualities, and she said YES. I then invited her to think about considering staying in coaching and coaching in a way that fit her personality and style, rather leaving the profession before she really got her feet wet. We ended the conversation talking about not leaving coaching before she leaves, and to try on some more roles before she makes such a life changing decision. I assured her she could be a great head coach and to stay in the game.</p> <p>A week later, I got an email from her thanking me for talking with her and “making her think” and that she is going to lean into her own career and consider our conversation. For aspiring young females who want to get into coaching, it doesn’t have to look exactly like what you see. <strong>Be the kind of coach you want to be, be you!</strong></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/&text=Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/&t=Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/&title=Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F04%2F23%2Fsupports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=Supports+for+Female+Coaches+II%3A+Stay+in+the+Game+Early" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/04/23/supports-for-female-coaches-ii-stay-in-the-game-early/#respond" title="Comment on Supports for Female Coaches II: Stay in the Game Early">Leave a comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3729 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-uncategorized" id="post-3729"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/" rel="bookmark" title="Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!">Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="10:21 am">March 27, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/helen-williams/" title="View all posts by Helen Williams">Helen Williams</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><p>Managing anger and frustration in games and practices is hard for coaches. When I took over my first team I yelled at the officials a lot. Part of the reason I yelled at them so often is that I felt I couldn’t yell at my players too much. But when I did yell I wanted to be prophetic! One of my favorite rants to the players was “I’m not going to lower my expectations to your level! You are going to raise yours to mine!” I suppose I was trying to channel Vince Lombardi and I fancied myself a young Pat Summitt. Thinking back it reminds me of Macbeth’s soliloquy in Shakespeare’s play. He tells a story and it’s “Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” I used to stomp my feet a lot as if that would make my voice louder and it took me two years to finally realize why I had to ice my knees after every game. After a while the players and officials tuned me out. I was like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon whose voice was always muffled “Wa wa wa wa wa wa”.</p> <p> </p> <p>We’ve all given those fiery speeches at halftime and your players are happy to laugh and remind you about them. I’m not advocating loud, profanity laced speeches because as I get older I realize you should be able to get your point across without using curse words. But when I was a young coach it seemed as if that was the only way to get the kids to listen. I think I thought that they would listen to and hear me better if I yelled. Later on I learned that all it did was raise my blood pressure. I matured as a coach, mellowed out and realized I was setting a bad example. I revised my strategy and tried not to scream too often. I learned to be more selective when raising my voice so they would know when I was really mad. Eventually I grew as a coach, realizing that my body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice made a huge difference in how the kids received my communication. It’s amazing how powerful nonverbal communication is. I found my team’s demeanor often reflected my own. It’s such a simple concept that one would think coaches would be more aware of our actions. But in the heat of a game you really have to concentrate to stay calm.</p> <p> </p> <p>One thing that helped me communicate without screaming was telling stories. Instead of just repeating the same old stuff all the time I would tell them a story or give them one to read. Sometimes they would process it right away and other times I gave them stories I knew they had to spend some time trying to figure out. For example, we lost to the last place team in our league just days after a huge win over the #1 team in the country. The next day I told my players to Google MC Hammer. I told them to read about him and let me know what similarities there were with his career and our events from the previous week. For those of you not old enough to remember, MC Hammer was one of the most successful rappers in his heyday. He made millions of dollars throughout his career but he eventually lost a lot of it from mismanagement and poor planning. Just like us, he didn’t know how to handle prosperity. He wasn’t consistent with doing the things that made him successful in the first place. Telling stories can be a very useful tool to help get your point across.</p> <p> </p> <p>I’m not saying that I was always able to stay calm and offer sage advice to my players. Many times I channeled my mother and spoke through gritted teeth. But I was fortunate enough to realize early in my head coaching career that going crazy in practice or on the sidelines in a game ultimately did not accomplish very much. Find ways that help you communicate productively. In the long run it will be better for your team and for you.</p> <p> </p> <p>www.hmwsportsconsulting.com</p> <p>@coachlikamother</p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/&text=Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/&t=Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/&title=Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F03%2F27%2Fthrow-the-ball-to-the-blue-team%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=Throw+The+Ball+To+The+Blue+Team%21" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/27/throw-the-ball-to-the-blue-team/#respond" title="Comment on Throw The Ball To The Blue Team!">Leave a comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3697 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-dr-ellen-j-staurowsky category-uncategorized tag-the-will-to-lead-lean-in-sheryl-sandberg-marlene-dixon-coach-work-life-balance tag-lean-in-women tag-work" id="post-3697"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/" rel="bookmark" title="Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg">Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="11:20 am">March 19, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/ellenstaurowsky/" title="View all posts by ellenstaurowsky">ellenstaurowsky</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><div class="mceTemp"> <dl id="attachment_3698" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 187px;"> <dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/leaninbook.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3718" title="leaninbook" src="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/leaninbook-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="177" height="300" /></a></dt> <dd class="wp-caption-dd"> </dd> </dl> <p>In early March, Facebook Chief Operating Office (COO), former vice president at Google and chief of staff at the U.S. Department of Treasury Sheryl Sandberg published a book entitled <em>Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.</em> Lamenting the fact that women remain underrepresented in key leadership positions, Sandberg offers insights into how to improve the career and life prospects of working women. The expression “lean in” is shorthand for Sandberg’s observation that women can be doing things to change their own prospects in the workforce and forge a path to leadership by embracing power, letting go of insecurities that chip away at and undermine their accomplishments, becoming more comfortable with what it takes to be a leader (including being unpopular at times), and creating a support system at home and work that serves as a platform for advancement.</p> <p> </p> </div> <p>For women working in coaching and athletics administration, none of what Sandberg writes about is particularly new. But the questions she poses are well worth thinking about. Consider these few drawn from the <a href="http://cdn-static.leanin.org/wp-content/themes/leanin/ui/resources/Lean_In_Discussion_Guide_All_Audiences.pdf?77f96d">discussion guide</a>.</p> <p> </p> <p>1. <strong>How does fear affect the decisions you make about your own future?</strong> For women in sport, the issue of fear is an interesting one to consider. The physical confrontations and challenges that are routinely conquered in the course of athletic lives serve as lessons in how to overcome, how to “lean in” as Sandberg says. At the same time, women in sport are ambivalent about their own power, checking it against cultural standards and norms. Evidence to this effect comes in physical terms, the <a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs11199-010-9800-8?LI=true#page-1">research</a> that shows female athletes may consciously scale back their training so as to avoid the appearance of being too big, too powerful and the conformity to femininity standards that place a high priority on appearance. According to Sandberg, “Fear is at the root of so many barriers that women face. What is your greatest fear? What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”</p> <p> </p> <p>2. <strong>Are you open to taking career risks? </strong>For women working in sport settings, the issue of career risk is complicated. On one hand, the male dominated nature of the business elevates the level of risk for women. As researcher Cindra Kamphoff reports, women in coaching, whether they remain in or leave the profession, often have to strike a “bargain with patriarchy”, engaging in ongoing negotiations around gender in order to be successful. It is in this space of negotiation where Sandberg suggests that women “lean in” rather than step away. For those who have been negotiating those gender boundaries for a long time, the concept is counter-intuitive but does warrant consideration from the standpoint of how women may, due to their own expectations, actually sabotage themselves. For example, while the coaching profession is gender segregated (less than 50% of head coaches of women’s teams are women and less than two percent of head coaches of men’s teams are women) and male dominated (women comprise approximately 20% of the coaching workforce overall), women rarely if ever apply for positions coaching men’s teams where salaries are higher, publicity is greater, and support is more abundant. As a result, women remain marginalized in the coaching ranks. In effect, “we leave before we leave” according to Sandberg. While women often labor under career decisions, tentative to apply for positions if they do not satisfy all job requirements, men as a general rule do not suffer such concerns. They are more likely to apply for positions if they meet some of the requirements. Sandberg observes, “At a certain point, it’s your ability to learn quickly and contribute quickly that matters. Women need to shift from thinking ‘I’m not ready to do that’ to thinking ‘I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it.” Women coaches are often thought of as risking a great deal just to be in the profession. Sandberg might argue that women have yet to risk enough.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>3. How much do you separate your personal life from your career life? </strong>Much of the research on the coaching lives of women has centered around work-life conflict, as if work and life were somehow oppositional concepts. Recent research from <a href="http://csri-jiia.org/documents/puclications/research_articles/2012/JIIA_2012_5_2_15_39_A_Dual_Model.pdf">Jarrod Schenewark and Marlene Dixon </a> reframes the balancing act women and men coaches face in meeting the multiple demands of career and family by suggesting that work and family do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive and, when combined in the right way, may contribute to overall satisfaction.<br /> <strong> </strong></p> <p>Sandberg’s vision of “a truly equal world” where “women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes” is an interesting one to contemplate and aspire to. Her motivation is stirred by a sense that women’s progress once prompted by the Women’s Movement has been stalled. She writes:</p> <blockquote><p>We can reignite the revolution by internalizing the revolution. The shift to a more equal world will happen person by person. We move closer to true equality with each woman who leans in.</p></blockquote> <p>Imagine what the coaching world would be like if women leaned in all at once and together.</p> <span class="vvqbox vvqyoutube" style="width:425px;height:344px;"><span id="vvq-3697-youtube-1"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18uDutylDa4"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/18uDutylDa4/0.jpg" alt="YouTube Preview Image" /></a></span></span> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/&text=Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/&t=Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/&title=Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Tumblr" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstream.goodwin.drexel.edu%2Fwomenincoaching%2F2013%2F03%2F19%2Freflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg%2F&name=Women+in+Coaching&description=Reflections+On+%26%238220%3BLean+In%3A++Women%2C+Work%2C+and+the+Will+To+Lead%26%238221%3B+by+Sheryl+Sandberg" title="Share on Tumblr">Tumblr</a></li><li class="stumble"><a target="_blank" title="Share on StumbleUpon" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/">Stumble</a></li><li class="digg"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Digg" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/">Digg</a></li><li class="delicious"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Delicious" rel="nofollow" href="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/&title=INSERT_TITLE">Delicious</a></li></ul></div> <script type="text/javascript"> swfobject.embedSWF("http://www.youtube.com/v/18uDutylDa4&rel=0&fs=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=0", "vvq-3697-youtube-1", "425", "344", "10", vvqexpressinstall, vvqflashvars, vvqparams, vvqattributes); </script>  </div> <div class="cleared"></div> <div class="art-postmetadatafooter"><div class="art-postfootericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postcommentsicon"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/19/reflections-from-lean-in-women-work-and-the-will-to-lead-by-sheryl-sandberg/#respond" title="Comment on Reflections On “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg">Leave a comment</a></span></div></div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-box art-post post-3682 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-jane-allen tag-quote tag-thought-of-the-day" id="post-3682"> <div class="art-box-body art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article"> <h2 class="art-postheader"><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/16/thoughts/" rel="bookmark" title="Thoughts…">Thoughts…</a></h2><div class="art-postheadericons art-metadata-icons"><span class="art-postdateicon"><span class="date">Published</span> <span class="entry-date" title="12:05 am">March 16, 2013</span></span> | <span class="art-postauthoricon"><span class="author">By</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/author/janeallen/" title="View all posts by janeallen">janeallen</a></span></span></div> <div class="art-postcontent">  <div class="al2fb_like_button"><div id="fb-root"></div><script type="text/javascript"> (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=355167727827739"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); </script> <fb:like href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/16/thoughts/" send="true" layout="standard" show_faces="true" width="600" action="like" font="arial" colorscheme="light" ref="AL2FB"></fb:like></div><p><a href="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/quote2.png"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-3691" title="quote2" src="http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/quote2-150x150.png" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>Each day at the end of tennis practice, I have one of the girls give a thought of the day. While I’d love to take the credit for coming up with this idea, I have to give credit to one of the coaches I worked with in college. Just like it did in college, ending practice this way is great. This time together allows the team to end on an encouraging note, and it gives them something to think about for the rest of the evening and at practice the next day.</p> <p> </p> <p>Here are a few of my favorite quotes thus far this season.</p> <p> </p> <p>1. <em>“The only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi</em></p> <p> </p> <p>While the vast majority of us love Vince Lombardi and his quotes, I especially enjoy this one due to the fact that it plainly states that work is necessary. How many times as coaches have we reminded our athletes that they must put in the extra time and energy to be better than their opponents? Thankfully, this quote really resonated with my team. They seemed energized and excited about this quote, and they left looking forward to practice the next day.</p> <p> </p> <p>2. <em>“Instead of telling yourself why you can’t, tell yourself why you CAN.” – Unknown</em></p> <p> </p> <p>This quote matches my first rule for any team I coach or any class I teach. I do not let the word “can’t” be a part of their vocabulary if they are around me. (Unless, they are saying, “I can’t get enough of tennis!”) I firmly believe that the first step to being a smarter, stronger, and better athlete is to eliminate negativity and self-doubt from your vocabulary. If you believe in yourself and are confident that you will do well, you will. Also, in sports such as tennis where the mental aspect is so important, if the girls remember this quote and make it a mantra of theirs – we will surely see success.</p> <p> </p> <p>3. <em>“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” – Vince Lombardi</em></p> <p> </p> <p>Again, this is another good quote by Coach Lombardi. This quote is great for my team to keep in mind as we are finally in a true rebuilding year. For those of us coaches who have experienced seasons such as these, it’s hard to deny the fact that entering into seasons such as these is difficult. This being said, this quote certainly helps to keep things in perspective. As coaches we need to remind our athletes that while it’s nice to win, winning isn’t everything. What is important, however, is to be driven to win in a way that motivates the athlete to work hard in practice, focus on the tasks or situations presented to them, and always give 110%.</p> <p> </p> <p>I hope you’ve enjoyed these quotes, and I encourage you to have your athletes come up with ones for the rest of your team as well. And…who knows? The quotes your athletes find may not only motivate the rest of your team, but they may also indicate to you that they are listening to what you’ve been saying daily in practice.</p> <div id="simple_socialmedia"><ul class="ssm_row"><li class="sharetext">Share</li><li class="twitter"><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/16/thoughts/&text=Thoughts…&via=profgiddings">Tweet</a></li><li class="facebook"><a target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/16/thoughts/&t=Thoughts…">Facebook</a></li><li class="linkedin"><a target="_blank" title="Share on LinkedIn" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://stream.goodwin.drexel.edu/womenincoaching/2013/03/16/thoughts/&title=Thoughts…&source=Women in Coaching">LinkedIn</a><li class="tumblr"><a target="_blank" title="Share on 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